Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Sunday Scribblings #301: Normal

I have a special ability. You might call it a superpower. I can disappear at will.

I wouldn't call it true invisibility - more like a kind of camoflage. I can fade away into a noisy crowd or the black of a kitchen chair or the quiet recesses of a room of any size, even if its full. I can put on my glasses, bury my nose in a book, keep my thoughts to myself, and nobody will see me there. I could stay in that one spot for hours without anyone thinking twice about it..

Sometimes I disappear intentionally. When my roommate and her young man come into the living room, I disappear to the bedroom. When my other roommate is talking to her family in the bedroom, I disappear to the outside landing wrapped in a blanket, to look at the sunset or the stars. When my class is busy with eager comments and I don't know the answer, I disappear then, too. Sometimes I disappear simply because I'm tired of dealing with people and putting on masks fo everyone I meet.

However, there are times when I can't control my disappearing - when other people make me do it. Someone will bump into me on the sidewalk and just keep walking without saying a word. I will look for a friendly smile or greeting, or even try to give one away, and no one will acknowledge me. Sometimes when I am in great need of comfort or encouragement, it happens - I look at myself, look around, and realize that I am invisible. No one sees me.

There are a few people, though, who have their own super power. They can see through my disappearing. My mother has this ability, and my younger sister. A handful of good friends have it. My closest companion has a particular gift for disregarding my invisibility altogether. The moment I try to disappear, the moment she sees me wanting to become invisible, she is there with a smile and a hug to keep me present.

That is the superpower I want, that I am working on having - the ability to see those who are otherwise invisible. It's just like magic, isn't it?


  1. Hi Rachel- I like what you wrote. It's a superpower we should all work toward having. I think you have a gift for recognizing people who are otherwise invisible. However, as with all gifts, we must use our gifts to keep them. Thank you for helping me think about recognizing those who need friends in a new light.

    love, mom

  2. Your blog is awesome. Seriously, I love reading it. You write so well. And I want to say also that you are being a little too invisible for me lately ;) We should get together and have lunch or something! Call me! :)